First Time
by summerxxfly
Summary: 'There's a first time for everything.'Smut.  'She'd always be his girl.'Romance, sort of. 'Would you save my life'Hurt/Comfort. 'How could anything go so wrong' No characters, but there are mentions of abuse.
1. First Time

**First Times**

**Summary: '**There's a first time for everything.' Puckleberry smut.**  
Words: **2030  
**Chapters: **1/1**  
Author: **Eliephant**  
Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, however much I wish I did.**  
A/N: **This is my first story that involves smut, so please be nice.

He looked at her, she looked so peaceful lying on his bed in nothing but her blue lacy underwear, like a wet dream is how he'd describe her, because that's exactly what she was, and had been for years before they got together. But now, she was his wet dream, and everyone knew about it. He climbed onto the bed and put his arm around her, then smiled at how easily she slotted into the space, curled up against him like a kitten.

Training had run late that night, so he had a quick shower and went home, cursing Coach Tanaka for holding him back, it was their anniversary, and he was damned if anyone was going to stop what she had promised was happening tonight. He slid into his truck and raced it back to her house. It had to be her house; her dads were out of town again for some convention or other, leaving her alone. He found several reasons to harm her dads; they were never around, especially when she needed them most. His thoughts had lasted the journey to her house, so he leapt out of his truck and unlocked the door with the key she'd given him earlier that day. It was past 10, and he said he'd be home for 7. He silently cursed Tanaka again as he crept through the house and into her room. She was fast asleep on the bed, and he didn't have the heart to wake her. Her cuddling into his side did nothing for the hard on he had, it only made it worse, but he still pulled her in, and lay down, kissing her hair softly, before sighing and settling down for the evening.

He woke some hours later, it was still dark, but he knew that it was early morning. He wasn't sure what had woken him, but then he saw the bathroom light was on, and realised the space next to him was empty, but still warm. Standing up off the bed, he walked into the bathroom and sidled up behind her, putting his arms on her waist and spinning her so she was facing him. He silenced the small scream with a kiss, and then pulled away. She sighed, then went up on tip toes to press another kiss against his lips, before sliding back down and leaning her head against his chest, relaxing into him as he put his hands around her waist and pulled her closer, placing another soft kiss on her hair, before turning her so she was pinned against his side before they walked back into her room. She pulled away from him and went back to her bed, sliding onto it backwards, he thought that she had never looked so good, or so tempting. Lying back onto her pillows, she beckoned him forwards, his mouth was suddenly dry. He'd never felt this way about anyone before, how was it such a tiny girl could do this to him. His heart raced whenever he saw her, and he promised he would do anything for her. She was the one who had made him into a one women man. They'd been going out for two years, and he'd refrained from sex for the whole time, telling her he'd wait until she was fully ready. Now appeared to be the time she was ready.

He licked his lips and swallowed, trying to ease the dryness of his throat. He started to move forwards, and crawled up the bed until he was leaning over her, then, slowly, ever so slowly; he lowered his mouth to hers and started to gently kiss her. The kiss turned more passionate as she put her hands on his hair and pulled him closer to her, closer and closer until he lying directly on top of her, could feel the heat of her skin through his clothes. The passion turned to fire, he could feel it burning in his heart, moving down towards his cock, it was already half hard, and he rolled his hips, pushing it into her stomach, causing her to gasp, breaking the kiss and giving him a split second to clear his head, to really feel what was happening. To sense the feelings she was driving into him, straight to his heart. She pulled his head back down until their lips met once more, the senses rushing south until his cock was fully hard. straining against the sweat pants he was wearing, gently, he pulled away from her mouth, letting out a small chuckle when a sigh escaped her mouth, and he started to gently kiss his way down her neck, sliding the strap of her bra down over her shoulder, kissing every bit of skin he could possibly reach, before kissing his way across her collar bone before doing the same to her other bra strap and shoulder. He carefully rolled them so that she was on top of him, and reached his hands around her back so he could undo her bra, allowing it to fall forwards, then, as carefully as before, so that he didn't crush her petite body, he rolled them back, so he was on top again, he lifted his body slightly so he could slide the bra out from underneath himself and then, as sensually as before, started to kiss his way down towards her breasts, when he reached them he glanced up for a second, and then, seeing her eyes closed and her head arched back, he took one nipple into his mouth and started to suck, feeling it harden in his mouth. Releasing it, he placed a small kiss on it, before sliding his mouth across her skin to the other nipple, repeating the attentions until this one hardened like the other. He could see the goose-bumps on her skin, and felt the shiver that ran down her back, smiling, he lifted his head and placed a passion filled kiss on her lips, before resuming his journey south, towards the prize he had been so eager for since breakfast that morning, the moment she had told him what she was planning on giving him for their anniversary.

He reached the waistline of her lacy knickers, then, kissing his way across the top, he pulled them down kissing the skin that was shown until he reached the top of the dark brown triangle of hair protecting her innocence. He completely removed the knickers, then, avoiding the part of her body she was so desperately wanted him to touch, he moved down and started to place butterfly kissed on the inside of her thigh, starting at her knee and moving up, slowly, making her more and more wet, he again reached her core, and then moved onto the other leg, until, finally, he placed a gentle kiss on her centre. The sigh that escaped her was a needy one, so, with a small chuckle, he slid back up her body, placing another kiss on her lips, before standing up and pushing his sweat pants down his leg, leaving him standing in his white boxers, the tent in the front of them startlingly obvious. He sauntered back to the bed, and slid onto it, next to her, with his face hovering mere millimetres from hers he leant forwards slightly more and allowed his lips to brush against hers, feeling rather than hearing the gasp that escaped her as his hands started to move down her body, gently stroking down from her shoulders, past her breasts, to her waist and finally her hips, stopping and just kissing her, allowing her to just feel what his lips where doing to hers. He sensed her hands moving down towards his boxers, before he felt them tentatively push them down, past his cock to the top of his legs, being unable to reach any further, he shifted slightly so they went down to his feet, before he kicked them off, hearing the soft thump as they landed on the floor. She gasped much more audibly at the size of him, and he knew that some of the tremors running through her body were fear, because she was a virgin, and he wasn't exactly small. He heard her start to speak, and tuned in to what she was saying, laughing at the fact that, even in the haze of lust that surrounded them, she still managed to sound like she had swallowed a thesaurus.

"You are incredibly well endowed Noah," she whispered, unable to tear her eyes away from his large member that was pulsing ever so slightly as he got closer and closer to the edge. Kissing her swollen lips again, he dipped his hand to her sex and started gently rubbing her clitoris, feeling her juices already flowing, so, gently, he slipped one finger inside her, feeling how wet for him she really was. Hearing her whimper, he slipped another finger in, slowly pumping into her, making her whimper more. He pulled his fingers out and she gasped at the loss of the feeling, it had felt so wonderful. He sat up slightly, placed a chaste kiss on her lips, and lined himself up with her opening, slowly, and ever so gently he pushed into her. The gasp was her most audible, and he halted his movement to allow her to adjust to his size. As she relaxed, and nodded her head almost imperceptibly he started to push into her again, just as slowly as before, until he was fully in her, then he stopped, again allowing her to adjust to his size.

"Rachel," he ground out, finding it increasingly more difficult to stay still, until, the tiniest sound escaped her lips, and he started to pull out, almost fully, until just the tip of his cock was left inside her pussy, then, quickly, he thrust back in, hearing her gasp again, he repeated the action, and a steady pace until, eventually, she was used to the sensations coursing through her, and she started to moan.

"Noah...please, please...more...please...don't stop...oh...Noah" the way the words sounded coming out of her innocent mouth almost made him shoot his load then and there, but her pulled out and thrust back in, quickening the speed of his thrusts to match the sounds coming out of her mouth.

"Rachel...oh, you're amazing...Rachel..."

"Noah...my God..." she gasped, cutting of his mumbling, the repetition of his name, the smirk that covered his face was one that, if she had truly noticed it, would have, on any normal day, have been wiped of very quickly, "...oh..."

"Come for me," he whispered into her ear, he was so close, but he knew that he wanted her to come first, that he needed to feel the spasmic tightening of her channel around his manhood. He reached his hand down and flicked her clit a few times, until she was mumbling his name and screaming as her world imploded around her, he thrust through her orgasm and straight into his, thrusting all the way through to maximise the pleasure they both felt, until, finally, they were fully spent, she just a jelly mess on the bed, his arms trembling as his orgasm ended, the effort required to hold him up was too much and he collapsed, rolling as he did so, so as not to land on her, she whimpered at the loss of contact she felt, and the feeling of him pulling out of her.

"I love you," she whispered as he pulled her to him so that her head was resting on his shoulder, he placed a kiss on her hair, then, turning her face towards him so he could place another kiss on her lips, then bent his head to whisper in her ear.

"I love you, more than you could ever know."

"Thank you," she said quietly as she fell asleep, worn out from the excitations of the evening. He pulled her close to him again, and let himself fall into a contented sleep, he had never felt better after sex, no, he mentally shook himself, this wasn't sex, this was making love, and it was the most amazing feeling.

**A/N: **This is a one shot, but, if people like it, I will make it into a story, so please review and tell me what you think, because I have a few ideas.


	2. His Girl, Friday

**His Girl Friday**

**Summary: **[[but she'll always be his girl, his girl Friday, his girl Friday, his girl Friday.]]**  
Words: **  
**Chapters: **1/1**  
Author: **Eliephant**  
Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, however much I wish I did.**  
A/N: **This is a one-shot, but as so many people wanted me to carry on '_First_ _Times'_ I've decided to do a series of one-shots as the muses hit that follow they're relationship. This story has been in my mind for a while, but I've had to alter it slightly. Enjoy. I am so sorry for how long this has taken, thank you to everyone who reviewed, and read _'First Times'_ the response was staggering, I've never had that many hits for a chapter, so thank you so much, it means a lot to me, and on with the story. : P xxx  
**A/N2:** The inspiration for this fic was 'His Girl Friday' by The Academy Is... if you've never heard it, check it out.

**Call on a Monday...**

"I need to see you, please, can I come over?" The voice turned low and husky, the way he always knew she couldn't resist. Her resolve started to weaken as he begged her to see him.

"Ok," she gasped down the phone, knowing that she needed to see him as much as he did her. She grew wet just thinking about it, and decided to go and sort out her...they're room so that she was fully ready for him. It had been a while since they'd seen each other, other than at school, and she missed him more than she thought she would, or should.

Rachel Berry had always been a careful girl, ambitious yes, but careful about one thing. Her heart, she'd been through heartbreak before, and she didn't need it again, but she knew that the more she saw him the closer to heartbreak she was getting.

She was startled out of her thoughts by a knock on her door; she jumped and ran down the stairs to open it to her visitor. She'd barely got it open before she had her lips covered by his.

"Hey babes," he whispered into her ear before attacking her neck and pushing her backwards and kicking the door shut before carrying her upstairs.

**Call on a Tuesday...**

"Rachel," he whispered when they woke up, "I have to leave," he said, watching as her eyes fluttered open to look into his, tears glistening, unshed in them. "I know, I don't want to either, but I have to, we'll see each other at school, I promise." With those words he was out of the bed and dressed, down the stairs and out of the door. She had barely even registered that he had left before the door slammed shut and his car was reversing out of the drive.

His phone beeped as he walked through the doors of McKinley High, _'i'm waiting by my locker, see you soon xxx'_ he smirked and walked towards her. "Hey babe," he whispered in her ear as he walked up behind her, laughing when she jumped back into his chest. Turning she looked up into his eyes and felt her heart skip a beat, until she felt eyes burning into her, turning slightly, she saw him staring at their interaction across the hallway. Pushing him away, she scowled before turning and flouncing away from both of them.

**They'll never know... **

"...I promise, no one will ever know, it's just us, you and me, forever..."

**...pop off a cork for the Wednesday... **

"I got it," she whispered as she climbed onto the bed next to him, pouring him a glass of whatever alcohol she could find in her dad's liquor cupboard. They were out of town for the night; their anniversary, so it was just them, happy, as it should be. Lying back with the glass in her hand, she listened to his heart beat as he took a sip of whatever it was she offered him, slowly letting it lull them into a peaceful sleep.

**...stay with me Thursday... **

"...please," she whispered as he went to leave, it was late and he knew his mum would be worried, but the innocent and slightly scared look on her face stopped him, sending a quick text to his mum he kicked of his shoes and climbed back into the bed, pulling her snugly against him as they, yet again, fell asleep.

**...but she'll always be his girl... **

It never lasted, it couldn't, because she was his, always his girl...

**...his girl Friday.**

**A/N: **I know it's not as long as _'First Times'_ but I really enjoyed writing it, and, as I am currently snowed in, I have almost finished the next one too, '_The Best Mistake'_ it should be up tomorrow, I'm really starting to hate the snow, and it's only just turned December, I haven't been out of my house for two days, food is running low, as is money, as my work is shut, our customers just keep cancelling. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, R&R xxxxx


	3. The Best Mistake

The Best Mistake

**Summary**: [[...if I said your smile's all that mattered/would you save my life?...]] Noah(Rachel.)  
**Disclaimer**: If I owned Glee, Noah and Rachel would be together, and Mark Salling would so be mine.  
**Words**: 2,271  
**Chapters**: 1/1  
**Writer**: Eliephant  
**A/N: **This is following on from '_First Times' _and _'His Girl Friday.' _This was inspired by the song 'The Best Mistake' by Jamison Parker. I have no Beta, so if anyone wants to be my Beta, please PM me and I'll be eternally grateful, any mistakes are my own.

Rachel looked at the man lying next to her and sighed, before silently climbing out of the bed and sliding into the shower in their bathroom. Leaning back against the cool tiles, Rachel watched the water circle the drain before slipping down into the oblivion below.

"_No, you don't understand, and you never will," Rachel Berry screeched down the phone to the man on the other end, "you can't control me, I'm my own person, and don't you dare think that I am yours." She slammed the phone down onto the cradle, sat in her chair and sobbed into her hands. She was so distraught she didn't even realise that the door had opened and someone had walked in, shutting the door quietly, they walked to her side and pulled her into their arms and started murmuring sweet nothings in her ear. As she looked up, he smiled at her and kissed her hair._

"_What's he done this time Berry?" Noah Puckerman asked as he pulled her over to the couch in her office, and sat down with her curled up against his side. She looked into his eyes and just sighed, wiping away the tears that had started to fall again. "Rach," he whispered into her hair as he pulled her onto his lap and rocked her like he used to when they were younger, before all this happened._

"_He thinks he can just control me, everything I do, and he can't, this is it Noah, this is the last time I will ever take him back, he blew it, he can't tell me who I can and can't see, all the while he is seeing that girl, it's not fair Noah, why couldn't I fall for someone like you, who cares for me, rather than stringing me along. Why do I still love him?" Rachel's voice was so small at the end, Noah didn't think he had heard her right. She still loved him, what the fuck? He cheated on her, and she still loved him._

"_I don't know Rach, but you've got to stop, because all he's doing is breaking your heart after I've just glued it back together" Noah looked at the little starlet curled up against him like a kitten, 'why can't you see I love you?' he thought as he pulled her closer to his chest. At that moment her assistant came through the door and looked over at the two of them curled up on the couch. _

"_Miss Berry?" she started, before glancing at Noah and back at Rachel, "your boyfriend is outside, shall I let him in?" Looking nervously over at Noah as he made a growling noise low in his throat, Rachel's assistant started to back towards the door, but before she'd even gotten half a step, Rachel looked up and gave a half nod before burying her head back into Noah's shoulder. He really wished she wouldn't do that, he couldn't help but inhale her scent, and that just made him dizzy, she smelt so good. He kissed her hair again and lifted her off his lap so she was sat next to him when Finn walked in._

"_Thank You Miranda..." you could hear him saying as he walked into Rachel's office, before he looked over to the couch where his girlfriend was sitting. "What the hell Rach? Why are you curled up against him? This is exactly what I was talking about on the phone. I come to see you to try and make it right again, and your practically in his lap." Rachel looked up with tears in her eyes again and wisely refrained from commenting about that fact that only 2 minutes ago she was in his lap._

"_Finn, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, he just came over, and we'd just gotten off the phone from each other, and I was upset, and he just gave me a hug, it means nothing, I'm sorry, please forgive me, please." During this mini rant, Rachel had slipped off the sofa and was creeping towards Finn, the last word was delivered in such a small voice, it was a wonder that Finn actually heard her, but Noah did._

"_Of course Rach, I'll always forgive you, I'm sorry too, I didn't mean it, and I love you." Finn had pulled the petite girl into a hug and delivered the last line into her ear as he looked at Noah, with a look that said, 'no matter what you do, she will still choose me' Noah stared back, then pushed himself off of the sofa, muttered that he would see Rachel tomorrow and walked out. Rachel pulled herself out of Finns embrace and looked towards the door Noah had just walked out of, listening as it slammed behind him, and watched as he stormed down the corridor, almost pulling the outer door off its hinges._

_Noah didn't even know why he was so angry, he knew that she would go back to him, she always did, no matter what he did to her, she always went running back as soon as he called for her._

Rachel jerked out of her reverie when she heard movement in the bedroom and shut off the shower, shivering as the cool air hit her damp skin. She heard a small chuckle and saw the curtain begin to move as someone pushed it away. "I didn't realise I could make you shiver just by walking into the room Rachel," he whispered as Rachel shrank back against the tiles, the look in his eyes told her she wasn't going to be able to escape. He pounced on her, slamming her into the freezing tiles behind her, her head smacking the wall, sending her dizzy. She gasped at the contrast between her warm skin and the cold tiles and he pressed his lips to her, using her momentary surprise to force his tongue into her mouth. When he pulled away slightly she closed her mouth and pushed him away.

"Please," she begged, as his eyes turned feral at being denied, "I'm going to be late, I need to get to the theatre, please," the last word was a whimper as he forced his way into her without preparation, her head smacked back into the wall again, stars were in front of her eyes and her focus started to swim, she could barely see him.

When she woke he had gone, and left her slumped in the bath tub, cold water trickling out of the tap, sitting up her vision swam again so she lay back down, putting a hand against the back of her head she gasped when it was gooey, pulling it away she saw that it was red and sticky, she couldn't stop the tears that fell from her eyes, gently pulling herself up so as not to move her head to much, she managed to lift herself partially out of the tub and find her phone that was scrunched up in her clothes, she lay back in the tub, head pounding uncomfortably against her skull, before dialling the one person she knew would help her, she managed to get one word out before she sank into blackness. "Noah..."

"_Noah, please, stop it. I love him, I can't help it, but I do. I wish I could stop, I don't want to be with him anymore." Rachel was stood in front of a now sheepish looking Noah who had originally come here to berate her for going back to him. This was the third time in as many days that Rachel Berry had called Noah Puckerman for help because her boyfriend was hurting her in more ways than one._

"_What did he do this time Rach?" he asked with concern lacing his voice. Tilting her head up so that he could look in her eyes he saw that they were glistening with unshed teas. He pulled her into his chest and started to rub her back, moving them so they were sat on the couch; she was curled up in his lap like a kitten searching for comfort and warmth. As he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, he whispered into her ear, "Rach, please tell me."_

"_I can't," she mumbled back, almost incomprehensibly, "he threatened that if I did, I would regret it, and I undoubtedly would Noah, he said that whoever I told would be the one that he damaged, so that every time I looked at them, I would observe what I had done." She swallowed as she felt the tears start to run down her cheeks."I can't let him hurt you Noah, I just can't," with those words Rachel stood up and walked out of the room, leaving Noah to think over what she had just said, she was willing to get hurt, and accept it, so that he wouldn't._

"Rach," he bellowed down the phone as he heard it clatter to the floor. Slamming his phone shut he ripped his keys off the hook they were on, wrenched the door opened and tore down the hallway outside his apartment. Five minutes later he was hammering on the door for Rachel's apartment, when there was no answer he started to ram his shoulder into the door, finally, hearing it crack, he shoved his foot at the lock and fell through the door. He could hear water running slowly and softly in the bathroom, so he rushed through, almost tripping over the clothes that were strewn about the apartment, many of them her old costumes ripped to shreds. Crashing through the bathroom door Puck swore at the sight of her in the bathtub, she was shivering, and unconscious, barely breathing, there were dark bruises littering her lithe form, and blood, so much blood running down the plug hole with the water, he rushed over and turned the tap over as quickly as he could, fumbling in his haste, then, oh so carefully, much gentler than you'd expect from someone of his size and stature, he lifted her out of the tub and wrapped her in the towel that was on the floor next to him, rubbing her dry and trying to get some heat back into her stiff limbs, that were almost blue from the cold. Carrying her carefully into the bedroom he placed her lightly down on the bed, covering her in the lightest, yet warmest blanket he could find, knowing that anything too heavy would cause to be in unnecessary agony. Barely able to leave her side for even the length of time it took him to grab the phone off of the hall stand. Back at her side, he gently started to push the hair out of her eyes, as he dialled the ambulance, and, as calmly as possible, described what he had found, and what he had done. The ambulance arrived as quickly as is possible in New York City. Noah quickly buzzed the paramedics into her apartment block and opening the door slightly, before returning to her side, unable to leave her for even a second. He gently placed a kiss on her forehead, trying to convey all the love he felt before the paramedics came in and started asking awkward questions.

"_...if I said your smile's all that mattered, would you save my life..." Rachel was so busy singing along to the song currently playing on the radio, she didn't notice her best friend walk in, until he whispered in her ear "Of course I would," grabbing her quickly as she spun towards him and launched herself into his arms._

"_Noah," she breathed, so happy he'd come. It was her opening night in ... and she was so excited that she'd invited Noah, her dads and of course, him. Noah hated him, and who wouldn't hate the guy who was going out with your best friend, who you also happened to be in love with. She looked so happy right then, nothing else mattered, as long as she was happy, he would endure._

"...if I said your smile's all that mattered, would you save my life..." he muttered as he sat next to her in the hospital, "Please Rach, wake up, I need you, please," Noah couldn't stop the tears that fell from his eyes, dripping onto their clasped hands. The Doctors would walk in and check on her vitals, pat him on the back in a show of condolence and walk out again, after making yet another note of her ever growing chart. Every so often the nurse would come in and replace the drip attached to her tiny arm, she had gotten so frail during the month she'd been in the hospital, it took all of Noah's strength not to _hit_ someone because no one was doing _anything_, and he just wanted her _better_.

"...i'm gonna break down these walls/I built around myself/I wanna fall so in love/with you and no one else..." The words meant more to him than to anyone else, ever, because they came from her mouth, if she'd of said she hated him, it wouldn't have mattered, because she was awake, and speaking, and she loved _him,_ and so what if he was grinning like an idiot, because she said _yes,_ and that just about made him explode with happiness, and then she told him that she had a _surprise_ for him, and he damn near _fainted_ when she told him they were going to be a _family_, because, that was all he'd _ever _wanted, with _her_, his little Broadway starlet.

**A/N: **I'm not best please with how this ended, and I know it doesn't exactly follow on from my other two fics, but, it is part of the same AU, sort of, well, yeah, it is, 'First Times' is set during Senior Year at school, as is 'His Girl Friday' and in the latter, she is with the Mystery person, who doesn't get mentioned in either, cake to everyone who guesses who it is, and it's not exactly obvious, promise. The first person to get it right gets a fic written for them of the pairing they want in EITHER Harry Potter/Glee/Twighlight/Torchwood(Dr Who if pressed) I will even do a crossover if you want, just a small incentive, love you all. xxx


	4. What Happens Now?

**What Happens Now?**

**Summary:** 'Why does everything have to hurt so bad?'  
**Words:** 627  
**Chapters:** 1/1  
**Author: **Eliphant**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own glee, promise.**  
A/N:** Just a warning, this chapter has frequent mentions of abuse in it, if you don't like, don't read, also, the poem is original, I don't mind you using it, but please let me know first, it is my own work, thank you.

Another story springs to mind,  
another day in the life,  
a single moment passing by,  
another memory flits over eye,  
another love lost in a dream,  
another shout, another scream,  
another slap, another cry,  
another day she didn't die,  
another door slams and breaks,  
another in a list of mistakes,  
a baby left in a hospital room,  
to face a life of doom and gloom,  
another child goes whizzing by,  
here, then gone, in the blink of an eye,  
teenagers come and go with ease,  
knowing full well how to please,  
cinema, popcorn, back by ten,  
kiss on the doorstep, but what then?  
silent phone and silent tears,  
next one comes, cue the fears,  
fathers worry, mothers strife,  
more and more and more like a knife,  
scars run deep for none to see,  
except him and him and maybe me,  
I am the girl with the fly away smile,  
here for a moment, gone for a while,  
he is the boy who sees it most,  
but never knows it's almost lost,  
with every touch of hand, he brings her  
further into 'no man's land,'  
with every soft, much ignored sigh,  
she tells herself "I will not cry,"

Eighteen years old, he'll never know,  
how much she really loved him so,  
he never saw her cry to sleep,  
but oh, her parents heard her weep,  
he never knew how much it meant,  
to smile at her or let her vent,  
to accept all she was, don't try and change,  
he never saw all of her strange,  
a lonely girl he never knew,  
what a smile could really do,  
bring her to life, make her believe,  
in true loves kiss, in all her dreams,  
but brush her aside,  
don't watch her break,  
maybe this is all she can take.

Pick yourself up, brush it off,  
tell yourself it was all a laugh,  
know deep inside how much it hurts,  
but keep it hidden, you've seen much worse.

A kick a punch, a kiss goodnight,  
he seemed so nice in cold daylight,  
a circle in a circle,  
dream in a dream,  
a ring, a cross, a rose, a seam,  
she's seen it before, knows how it ends,  
a friend of a friends of a friend of a friend,  
she fell in love with charm and smile,  
but deep inside was something vile.

He watched her sink, never saw that smile,  
her for a moment, gone for a while,  
he knew what it meant,  
to watch, and to learn, and to let her vent.

Silent tears on her face,  
held him captive, held him in place,  
steal a kiss, a touch, move a wisp of hair,  
why is life so unfair,  
too late to notice, too far gone,  
she clings to him, clings on and on,  
a lifeline that could get her killed,  
she doesn't care, he rocks her world,  
he cracks her shell,  
breaks through her walls,  
further and further and further he falls,  
never knowing or caring what he will find,  
he watches and learns what's on her mind,  
the sad smile he sees as she leaves for home,  
a sad wave as she goes into the unknown,  
her face lights up when he enters the room,  
like faeries have banished all of her gloom,  
her eyes shine like stars, her cheeks rosy red,  
he knows that it is all in his head.

She doesn't smile and she doesn't sigh,  
not here for the moment or the blink of an eye,  
her dreams were smashed, her mirror too,  
over her head his harsh words flew,  
sat in a corner, curled in a ball,  
wondering why she is here at all,  
another shout, another scream,  
another hundred broken dreams,  
another slap, another cry,  
how many more will have to die? 


	5. Sing

**Sing**

**A/N****: These are a series of randoms that I wrote because I was bored, and slightly lacking a muse, so, I put one of my playlists on shuffle, and wrote what sprang to mind, I like most of these, so, if there are any that you really like, and want me to continue, let me know and I will, if I get the right muse back, they are all separate, not a single one of these links with the next, enjoy xxx**

**As If We Never Said Goodbye-Chris Colfer (Kurt Hummel)**

**Puckleberry**

As she stood on the stage of the empty theatre singing a song that she'd sung a million times, it held so much more meaning to her. She'd never really felt the words she was singing until that very moment, the moment when she felt like everything was going to crush her, just over take every feeling she'd had and swallow her whole.

He'd never heard her sing with such passion before, never heard such emotion come through such a delicate voice, she wasn't singing with any kind of power, yet he could feel it reverberating through him as though he could feel every single word she was saying, even though she wasn't saying it to him, to anyone, it was just feelings gushing out of her, that she had no control over, and he'd never seen anything quite so magical, never heard her sing with such raw emotion, it made him shiver.

She felt him stood there, even if she didn't acknowledge it, it was easier that way, they both knew it, the raw power and emotion flowing through her body that moment was more intense than anything ever before, and she wasn't entirely sure where it had come from, she just knew that it was suddenly there, and had to be used, and this song was waiting for her.

As she finished, she turned towards him and said just one word as she walked away.

"Sorry"

**5, 6, 7, 8-Steps**

**Puckleberry**

He'd never been to anywhere quite like this before, it was so lively and bright, colours flooding everywhere, and laughter, there was so much laughter it made his heart ache.

He'd known she was unhappy, how anyone could not see it was a mystery, but to see just how sad she was, well, that was quite unbearable, so, he'd dragged her out of the flat, saying she needed to have some fun, and she'd just given him that look that said everything she couldn't, I Don't Want To, but he'd grabbed her hand and dragged her as far away from campus as he possibly could, and into the first fun filled bar he could find, it just so happened to be a honky-tonk bar, and he loved it, and by the end of the night, so did she, he could see it on her face, for just one night, he'd managed to make her forget, and it made him so proud, to see the smile on her face was as real as could be.

**C'est La Vie-B*Witched**

**Puckleberry**

When they were kids they'd liked to play in his tree-house, it had been there little hide-out, the place they went where no one could ever find them, they were 5 at the time, it felt like it ok, and then, one day, she'd been upset and had gone to the house to have some 'alone' time, and as she'd climbed the ladder she'd heard him talking to someone, and then she'd heard a voice reply, a female voice, and she couldn't help but be a little annoyed, and then she saw who it was, that was the first time she'd ever been to hospital, and it be his fault, she'd fallen off the ladder in surprise, and he hadn't even said he was sorry.

**Pretending-The New Directions**

**Puckleberry(Pucktana)**

It says it all really, "we're so close yet so far apart" they were lying on their(her) bed staring into each other's eyes, not saying a word as they felt the walls building up between them, and then, he turned away, to put on his boxers, then his trousers, then, finally his shirt before walking out of the room without so much as a backwards glance.

It was the way they always ended, he'd walk out and go home to his apartment(girlfriend) and she'd lay there in her(their) bed and wish away the tears that threatened to fall but never did.

He never knew why he did it, or rather, he'd never admit he knew why he did it, because he'd never tell her, or anyone else for that matter that it made him feel good(alive) and that it's what he needed at the end of a long day to get rid of the tension he built up. It wasn't that he didn't love his girlfriend, he did, and he just loved her more(not enough)

**Songbird-Naya Rivera (Santana Lopez)**

**Puckleberry**

He's never really thought about it before, but he guessed(knew) that she was his songbird now, he liked(loved) waking up to hear her singing in the kitchen as she made his coffee and fed(tried to feed) their daughter, the one they never thought they'd have, they're miracle, they're own baby songbird he guessed.

She was his miracle, and Bella was theirs, the one that was just there, that was a mistake(never) but a drop of golden sunlight in his eye, a twinkle(his shining star)

He'd say he wasn't sappy, that he'd never admit it, but they were his life, and so, every morning, when he woke up to song birds, he'd reply in the same way (I love you like never before)

**Get It Right-Lea Michele (Rachel Berry) **

**Rachel(everybody)**

She'd never understood what it really meant, sure, she'd written the words, but hadn't felt them, until now. In that very second she understood, she'd never get it right, it just wasn't meant to be. She walked, head held high, out of the auditorium, they figured it was just her way, a storm out, she'd be back soon, but no one saw her for the rest of the day, at least no one that wanted to see her, the next day was the same, no matter how hard they looked, they couldn't see her, in the end, they realised that something was really wrong, because, no one had seen her, and trust me, Karofsky had been looking, he had a long line of slushees to use on her, but she'd disappeared, over the weekend, Rachel Berry had done a vanishing act, and no one knew why. No one realised until her dad's came home that something was seriously wrong, she'd been alone for the best part of two weeks, they'd been at separate conferences, they weren't together, they'd been having affairs for years, Rachel was caught in the middle, this was one time too many, everyone found out the hard way that it sucks, not having a family to go home too, because suddenly there was no glue holding them together.

**Light Up the World-The New Directions**

**Puckleberry**

It seemed an age since McKinley High, and yet, she could remember it as if it was yesterday, listening to them singing their own songs, blaring through the speakers at the 10 year reunion, a smile managed to ease its way across her face, and, even though she knew it was as fake as her congratulations to Finn and Quinn, no one else knew that, at least no one who was there, because the one who did was in some far off country, fighting in a war they shouldn't have been involved in.

Thinking back, she can remember the exact moment, and reasons they wrote this song, and soon enough she starts to gently bob along to it, and it brings a genuine smile to her lips for the first time in months. "There it is," a voice whispers in her ear, turning slowly she hardly dared to believe it, Noah was home, "there's the smile I was waiting for,"

"Noah, " she breathed...

"Light up the world tonight baby," he breathed back, before gently kissing her on the lips.

**Dreams-Kristen Chenoweth/Matthew Morrison (April Rhodes/Will Schuester)**

**Quinn/Rachel friendship**

Everyone has them, everyone works as hard as they can to make them come true, everyone gives up something for that one dream they just can't let go of, and it can be a nightmare, or, it can be, a complete and utter dream.

Everyone knew what Rachel's dream was, but no one ever suspected that bitchy, head cheerleader Quinn Fabray had exactly the same dream, to get out of Lima, Ohio and make it big, in whatever way she could, so when she got accepted to NYU she was over the moon, and she gave up everything to make it work, and everyone said that one day she'd regret it, look back on the friends she once had, and wonder where they had all gone, surprisingly, the only friend she really had left was the diva herself, Miss Rachel Berry, they'd chased they're dreams together, and found out the hard way that "Players only love you when they're playing,"

Quinn moved into Rachel's apartment precisely one month after they discovered that they were on the same course, and were living approximately a block away from each other, paying rent on two apartments was stupid, especially when Rachel's was a block closer, and had two rooms, she's not moved out since.

**Rolling In the Deep-Lea Michele/Jonathan Groff (Rachel Berry/Jesse St James)**

**NoahStJames**

She'd never expected Jesse to turn up in the middle of her song, but he had, he'd been waiting for it, hoping it would be good timing, you see, everyone thought that Jesse St James had come back for Rachel, that's what he's told them all, but, later that night, when he was rolling in a deep of another kind, it wasn't what he whispered in Noah's ear, "it's you, it's always you, I came back for you Noah," and, at that very moment, Noah believed that someone wanted him, and no one else, he felt special, and for the first time in his life, he felt loved.

**I Feel Pretty/Unpretty-Dianna Agron/Lea Michelle (Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry)**

**Rachel(everyone)**

They'd never fully realised the impact she had on them, until it didn't exist anymore.

They'd never fully realised the impact they'd had on her, until it hit them full in the face in a non-confrontational kind of way.

They'd never fully realised that, while small, she was a massive person, and they all kind of missed it.

They'd never realised that, singing this song, was a cry for help.

They'd never realised the extent of her insecurities, until it was explained to them afterwards.

They'd never noticed her fading away into the background, slowly disappearing out of all of their lives, thoughts, minds, until, finally, they realised she just wasn't there anymore.

At first, it was in the metaphorical sense, she stopped fighting, stopped asking for things that she knew she wasn't going to get, stopped wanting to be in the spotlight, sank into the background.

She discovered the perks of being a wallflower, and loved it.

They'd never noticed until she was gone.

**Crashed the Wedding-Busted**

**Puckleberry(BerryStJames)**

So, it wasn't the most sensible thing he'd ever done, he ran into his multiple times ex-girlfriend's wedding to tell her that he loved her, and to stop her marrying his once best-friend, who wasn't so much friends with him anymore, not that he could blame him.

His mum was thrilled, she's always loved her, a nice girl, pretty, down to earth, she knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to go for it, but she was always polite, and she loved his little sister, and, she was the right religion.

She was in a Christian wedding, because her fiancé didn't think it was right for her to be a Jew, and she just gave up, and said ok, was going to convert to Christianity for him, and that was something she swore she'd never do, so yeah, "she's glad I crashed the wedding"

**Someone like You-Adele**

**Finchel(Puckleberry)**

I came to the wedding, I know you think that I didn't, but I did, I had too, I had to see if it was real, and you looked so happy, how could I of ever given you something like that, we used to be so close, what happened.

Your nothing like you anymore, you've changed, and not necessarily in a good way, your less, well, you, your quiet, and you don't give your opinion quite so loudly, or, at all it seems, everything's down to them, the other half. Yes darling, of course darling, anything you say darling, and that's just not you, you were so forwards, and I loved it.

I'm sorry if I got you in trouble, I think I did, just turning up like that, you looked terrified, they didn't look at all happy.

I wish I could have told you all this before, but here it is:

"Nothing compares, no worries or cares, regrets and mistakes they are memories made, who would have known how, bittersweet this could taste"

I'm so sorry, I can see your face now, your petrified, I wish I could save you from it, and I could, I really wish I could, but I need to save myself first.

Now I've realised that saving me first wasn't the best thing to do, because I was just too late to save you, and that, right there, is my biggest regret, I didn't find someone like you.

**Need You Now-Lea Michelle/Mark Salling (Rachel Berry/Noah Puckerman)**

**Puckleberry/Fintana(Pucktana/Finchel)**

Whiskey doesn't help anymore, the pictures scattered around the floor are burning into my head, the phones just out of reach, and I wish it wasn't, I wish I cross your mind(save me) can you hear me, I need you now, but you're not there, and you never are. I need you now, you can't see what this is doing to me, I need you now(save me)

Looking at the door and wishing you were there doesn't help. You never appear, no one's there to save me now, I need you now, one more stretch, but it hurts so much, and black dots are dancing around in my vision, I need you now, they're bigger now, and it's like a kaleidoscope of blackness, I need you now, guess hurting is better than nothing, you're not there, but I need you now.

The door bursts open, I need you now, more than ever, because he's here, and you're not, photos, whiskey, pain, you.

**I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance-Darren Criss (Blaine Anderson)**

**Whatever pairing you want**

No, that's the word that squeals to a stop at the forefront of my brain, just say no. I can't, I never can, you ask me to teach him how to dance, and I stupidly say yes, and you give me the song, and it's this one, I think, and I just think how can you be so stupid, I'm in love with your boyfriend, and you know this, and you give me this song. He arrives, and I let him in, he's in joggers, so we go downstairs to the basement, and I put the music in the stereo, what else am I meant to do, the music starts, and he laughs, knowing why she chose this song, except not really, because he just thinks it's because he can't dance, and it's not, and suddenly, I just scream. The biggest noise ever heard coming out of my mouth that isn't a note, it's just one word, no, no, No, NO NONONONONONONONONONONO and suddenly I just can't stop saying it, until he's out the door, and the CD goes flying out after him NO!


End file.
